Marcelo A. C. Santos

Dear friend:

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

I am feeling a little bit strange tonight.

I woke up this morning and read your message. It was right there like always, for your attention never fails.

You know, Peter, all those people making money out of the good will and faith of the others... Sometimes those ''others'' are there just for a ride; sometimes they are there because they ain't got anything else to hold on to; sometimes they are there only because they are stupid enough to believe that it alone will bring them salvation; sometimes they are there because it is the only place where they can talk and feel alive; sometimes they are there because it is their heart that does't stop pointing them this way. I don't care about their innermost reasons. Those do not belong to me.

However, when I remember the so many times that I have been deceived and the many times when I've found out there was nothing there but lies, then I do care about them, as much as I do care about every single person in my circle.

When I was an active member of the FRA, I used to be Alair's favorite student [Alair Pereira, F.R.A.]. That attracted the attention of the ''old'' members. They were always congratulating me on my ''spiritual growth''; I was given an important office in spite of my degree, and my ego was getting bigger every day. I could read the others' mind and I could feel their real intentions, but I could not believe that ''spiritual brothers'' could be somehow sly.

One day, after the Congregation Ritual, I went back home and, before I felt asleep, I had a vision. In that vision, I was within the Temple, and there was nobody else there. Suddenly, a kind of ghost came forth and said: ''Do you think you are anything more than the others? Do you think the Masters are happy with your work? Do you really believe in everything they tell you? So listen: you are just a piece of shit; this Masters thing is a trick and what they told you were but lies. However, this people NEED lies, and WE are to give'em lies, for in this lies they feed their hope. A world without hope would be even worse than this world already is, believe me...''. The vision's vanished and gone, and I have never been the same. I lost my belief in Magic, I lost my belief in Eternity, I lost my belief in God. I was 21.

Then came Thelema. I had already heard of Crowley, but the FRA people told me he was an evil black sex magician, and that I should not think of learning his teachings. But, after that vision, nothing else seemed to be really scaring. I decided to study Crowley's.

Of course, I got scared after the first reading of Liber AL! After a while, I found out that AL was bringing me back that Vision, but at that time I was seeing from a different standing point. And from that point I found Magic, Eternity and God again.

That is why once I told you that I don't care if it was Crowley or Aiwass or The Green Beatle who wrote AL. It suited my thoughts and that's ok. I am not a fanatic for Crowley, for I have learnt to be my own guide, in the limits of the good sense.

And that's why I told you that, out of the historical context (which I consider VERY important though), I don't give a damn about ''who is who''. I know that the most of the occult, spiritual and mistical leaders are liers. Sometimes, their heart is good, but they fall in the illusion of their grades, offices and degrees. Maybe I am judging wrong, but it seems to me that, by taking the Oath of the Abyss and acting like the top authority in the Universe, Frater AZT [Euclydes Lacerda, Motta's S.O.T.O.] shows his failure in the illusion of the Grade. Of course, he was the one who told HB [Hymenaeus Beta = William Breeze] about our correspondence. The other day, he issued a document full of lies about me and some of my friends. Maybe it is unbearable for him to see me following my own way. But I DO understand him, although I do not agree with him. It also seems very clear to me that Sebastião's behavior [Sebastião Carvalho, F.R.A, M.M.] , asking you for degrees and charters, shows a different symptom of the same sickness. The exemples you gave me are the evidence that it happens everywhere around the World.

Those are the persons who are guiding people thru the paths of initiation! Those are the persons who tell you ''slain thy ego!''. However, the avarege people NEED them. And, in spite of it all, Sebastião and Euclydes do believe in their roles as the bearers of messages from the Secret Chiefs. Their hearts are good.

It is very much different from those guys who fraudulently and deliberately plan to make money out of the lies they set upon sacred things. They objectively profane the sense of holyness of the others, which is so much subjective and, in the most of the cases, connected to the whole life of the seeker; thus even ''holier'' than they will ever think.

You may say I am acting like I thought that my truth was ''higher'' than the others', and like my ''understanding'' was better than theirs. No, Peter, I don't think so. But, in another sense, I am telling you that I agree with E. Howe, when he tells you: Don't trust an occultist. It is sad, very sad, but it is true.

AZT:

According to Carlos Raposo [Caliphat] and Marisol Seabra, he joined the OTO expecting to receive the IX° and to be acclaimed Brazilian's X°.

However, when Lon DuQuette [Caliphat] came to Rio in order to perform the first set of initiations in Brazil, AZT had a heart attack on the very occasion that he met Lon. So, we had to initiate him only on the Minerval [0°], in a temple we set up at his home, where he was recovering from the infartation.

Still according to Carlos and Marisol, he asked Lon for the IX°, but instead of receiving it, he was advised to prepare a written paper, and submit it to someone else or to a counsel (I can't remember very well).

Our friends told me that after that, AZT gave up the idea of getting hold of an immediate IX° or X°, and asked for a charter to open his own Camp. HB sent him the charter.

A little time before, AZT recognized [Martin] Starr as having an A.^..A.^.. Grade equal to his one, and took Starr for his fellow.

However, right after you sent him some stuff (which I have never seen), I was told by Carlos that AZT took the Oath of the Abyss, sent the OTO charter back to HB, sent Starr to hell and started making noise, saying that I and the other brethren were converted into soldiers of the black lodge and other nonsenses, like HE being the true OHO [Outer Head of the Order] etc...

My days in Texas [then Headquarter of the Caliphate]:

I spent 10 days in Austin. Did not go out a single night, since Breeze forbade the OTO members to take me out (it is not a joke). To be honest, I only did some shopping one afternoon, and visited a city at the Mexican border on another day.

I stayed at a sister’s house, a very kind person who’s got a very sweet daughter.

I had dinner at Breeze’s house (better: his mansion), and found out it was the OTO that pays his comforts. Yes, it is all paid with the Order’s money. He repeated a thousand times that the US OTOis the one and only worthy Order in the World. He also told me OTO would not promote through the invitational degrees those members who had anything to do with organizations like the OS [Ordo Saturni] or OB [Ordo Baphometi, Walter Jantschik]. Bla-bla-bla-bla... To sum it up, I found out that, while I was turning myself inside out in order to keep the Oasis alive in Brasil, the Most Holy King was living in a mansion that Iwas paying, and neither a single cent from my dues or the copyrights was invested in the members’ welfare. I did not see any serious lodge working, although the mass was performed very sensually. I did not see anything that could justify the value of dues and the receipt of copyrights. Yes, you were right: the Caliphate is but a firm or club. There’s no fraternity nor spirituality nor magick there.

As I had to stay at home, I really meditated. My mind was changing, but I still refused to see the clear sky above me.

But in the night I passed through Ritual DCLXXI (Throa), I simply found out I could not keep on hiding me from myself! Suddenly, I was in front of a mirror, and somebody asked me who art thou?

In a flash, I remembered you, Euclydes, Paula [his wife], my son and everybody else that were trying to make me see how silly I was being to that day. I could not keep on pretending my heart was made out of steel anymore. Why on earth should I keep my affiliation in an organization that gives me nothing but meaningless titles and lots of trouble? Why should I keep working for a system that does not correspond to my quest? Why did I put myself in a situation that was keeping me distant from my ideals and from those who care about me, and even though I insisted in pretending it was really important in my life? And why, after all, was I assisting that organization and spreading its lies? Why was I lying to myself and to everybody else? Why was I denying the freedom of speech to my real brethren? Why was I playing the game of the owners of the truth? Why was I turning myself into an owner of the truth?

You know, I have a million defects. But, the most horrible of all was that I could not accept my oh so many mistakes... But I finally perceived I was a worm and a god... most of all: with or without those funny titles and people around telling me how important you are, oh master, I am under the shadow of the wings!

Yes, in a society full of competition and frustration, there is some comfort in entering a temple dressed in a majestic garment, and having people to believe you are oh so special. But it is just an illusion that may become an addiction, for soon you will step on the real world again, and will be hunger for some release from more self-deceit.

I came back to Rio with the idea of quitting the Caliphate as soon as the new Oasis Master and FSR, Soror Shaitara, was installed. This I told to Breeze, a week before flying to São Paulo in order to administer my last initiations for OTO (the brethren from São Paulo did not want soror Shaitara to do the initiations, because she overcharged their fees and dues). When I got there, I received a message from him, revoking my charter. My response to him follows below.

Well, that’s it.

Threats: Breeze did so in his last email:

"I have had many confusing and unsetting reports, including remarks attributed to you that were hostile and even legally defamatory to OTO. As you plan to resign there is little point in airing and resolving them. In fairness to you I plan to forget them, and unless I hear that they continue will take no action"(email dated 20.02.99)

His representative, Shoror Shaitara (Marisol Seabra, Carlos Raposo’s wife), told a fiend of mine that the Caliphate would sue me. Of course, she expected him to make me aware of that, so that I should stop writing. In vain!

Follows my last letter to Breeze:

22.04.99 e.v.

Care Frater:

Faze o que tu queres será o todo da Lei.

Thank you for yours of March 17, which released me from any potential drop of regret. So mote it be, forever and ever, Amen!

Now, read it without prejudice. We are brothers in the A.^..A.^.., and you are witness of all I did in order to have you calling me a brother. I will be sincere and maybe I’ll sound harsh. Take your Crown off, or stop reading now for the sake of our fraternal relationship.

First, were not my intentions honest, I’d have gone to Hawaii instead of Texas. But, for me, Beauty was in Austin, because I knew I would see Sisters and Brothers smiling and feasting, and I knew their hearts would be happy with the presence of a distant brother among them. Most of all, I knew I would find a piece of my True Will there.

Now, I don’t care whether we are in the same boat or not, as long as we are sailing on the same river. We are thelemites, after all. If we fight, let’s do it like brothers. It is not the thelemite that I fight, it is not the person, for I respect the first and I empathise with the second. But I won’t tolerate attitudes that hurt my brothers, Liber OZ or Liber AL. And you and Marisol choose to take those attitudes, making transparent that the Caliphate OTO is but an organisational institution in which pride and power speak too much loud for my weary ears. Words are in vain, my brother, when deeds show the real nature of the masquerade intention.

You are very contradictory while trying to teach me lessons that I’ve already learnt. And you are not sincere while trying to make me feel comfortable enough to stop arguing about the legitimacy of the Caliphate’s claims as to being a fraternal and magical organisation.

You say: "The real test of fraternity is the ability of members to work together to accomplish something greater of themselves, for other people, putting aside their prejudices and sometimes even their pride and personal ambition".

So, it’s time to remember my last letter: "I’ll keep my promise of doing about 25 initiations in São Paulo and helping Sol no Sul with the III°, as the last proof of my love for the Order and respect to my sisters and brothers. After that, I’ll quit the OTO". There’s neither a trace of prejudice nor of pride and personal ambition therein. But, yes, there’s a lot of of fraternity.

And it’s time to remember you, the Frater Superior of the Caliphate OTO, that I gave all my best to the Order. If now your Representative has something to work on, it’s because I built a Temple, almost all alone, in spite of her attempts to drop it to the ground in the past, as you are pretty much aware of. But, as it’s written, there’s a way back for every (wo)men, and I thought she had changed. I was wrong.

However compare your words about the real test of fraternity with your acts. How to accept them as a lesson if they come from the same person who says: "Under the circumstances we have no alternative but to revoke your charter to initiate to OTO, effective today (March 17)"?

You, who speak of fraternity, waited until I packed my things and flew to São Paulo, leaving behind my 7 months pregnant wife and my 12 years old son and missing two days of work and classes. After I wasted R$ 110,00 in a ticket ... After I slept on the cold ground of a temple without a bed, just to keep alive the spirit that I learned how to invoke with my initiator. Only then, when I was at the party for the "The Holy Books", you sent me that marvellous message. And you left MANY sisters and brothers without their initiations. People that made plans. People that sacrificed things for an ideal. People that travelled from far. People that now are knocking on the Order’s door searching for something they already carry in their hearts. You, who speak of fraternity, should and could have respected an act of fraternity.

Back to your lettter. You say: - "While regrettable, we of course respect your will in this matter..." And: - "I came to like you during your visit to the USA..." If this is true, why did you write, in the same day, to Frater Piarus: - "...We have problems with Marcelo Santos, and I hope he resigns soon..."? I found that email among his initiation papers. Also, Marisol’s words about the emails you sent her mentioning me do not confirm your present affirmations. Why lying, my brother? WHY?

On to the worst part.

You say: "I have had many confusing and unsettling reports, including remarks attributed to you that were hostile and even legally defamatory to OTO..."

How years old are you, Bill? Would you believe if they told you they saw flying elephants dancing tango around the palm-trees? Do you believe in everything people say? C’mon! We’re men of action, and you’re not so ingenuous. Don’t come to me with this bla-bla thing of confusing and unsettling reports. You are the Caliph, goddammit!

Don’t you think it’s already time to judge the others for their work (and my work is all the Caliphate has in Brasil up to this writing) and leave hearsay behind?

Alas, confusing and unsettling is too vague, as well as legally defamatory. Can’t you be clearer? And, btw, is it too much difficult being impartial and doing a previous little effort to aude altera partem? It’s oh so easy to pull someone’s legs acting in the darkness and behind one’s back, you know. You had the opportunity to look frankly into my eyes and will have it again sooner or latter, I’m sure. If you were at least a little sensitive, you could read my heart then, as I CAN read yours ... at any time. I just cannot read the Caliphate’s heart anymore, as it seems to be a corpse without Life, nor Love, nor Liberty, nor Light, and its banner seems be have something different from the number 93 stamped on it.

(Something stops my illumination now, and makes me laugh. When I was in Sao Paulo, Frater Piarus received a phone call from Rio. It was another brother, who wasted his time and money just to say that - "Brother Marcelo is now in a secret meeting with the leaders of the other thelemic organisations in Rio. They’re planning on destroying the Caliphate". I was by P.’s side, and after he hung off, we laughed and laughed. Did somebody report on my conspiracy to you too? It’s insane. It sucks)

Back to your letter, I would like you to clarify if you’re threatening me when you state that "unless I hear that they continue will take no action". I call your attention to the words hear and action, and advise you, if you permit me, to be very cautious when joining them.

Now, when I wrote the statement classified by you like "ego masqueraded with humility", all that I meant was "hey, I am not speaking anything on anything; and I don’t want anything but to keep on initiating new brothers and sisters to OTO". You chose to pretend you did not understand me.

Now I’m weary of those games you all love to play, day and night. I am looking for spiritual growth and welfare. I am searching for peace of mind. That’s why I am getting out of this lunacy.

A spiritually myopic brother tells me I am doing the wrong thing. According to him, I should stay and pull Marisol’s legs. It’s funny that he’s a part of her staff. He also says that Sol no Sul officers are celebrating my departure, for now they’ll have the chance of meeting only for smoking good marijuana and travelling to distant Brazilian cities and even abroad, doing initiations. You see: that’s how the Caliphate OTO works. Nobody is interested in working seriously or doing initiations for love, but only in exchange for good times at somebody else’s expenses. On any plane, those "initiates" are searching for a way to obtain personal profit from a pseudo-spiritual structure. For me, there’s no spiritual growth therein, but a mad compensation for mundane frustration. And, yes, the "staff" gets the profits. That explains why one is always playing tricks on the other. They want to get "there".

Apo Pantos Kakodaimonos!

Be it clear that, most of all, I am a thelemite. It does not really matter the vessel, but the content. And, after all that happened and is still happening, I can’t think of the Caliphate OTO as carrying a part of the content, the essence that makes me rejoicing. I defended the Order and I made it strong in Brasil.

For payment, I found lies and treachery. Those lies won’t have my support anymore. Pompous titles do not seduce me, and that’s why I’m feared by the jugglers. I feel karmicaly bound to use my strength in showing my sisters and brothers in Thelema what the Caliphate is all about, specially after receiving your last email confirming my thoughts. Then, they shall chance to abide in this illusion or no; it is no odds. Infinite Courage is my name.

If we come to fight, be it. Again, I hope you’ll let the A.^..A.^.. out of that.

Otherwise, I send my love to the pure children.

Amor e’ a lei, amor sob vontade.

Fraternally,

Marcelo A C Santos

Nothingman

PRK: now you have to tell me about the VII°, VIII° and IX° of the Rietti-fashion!! [Ordo Templi Orientis Foundation]

MACS: Ridiculous!!!

VII° - bla-bla: how important it is to be fair and just with your brothers etc.

VIII° - Three officers. After wasting three hours reading the previous rituals (the candidate is forbidden to speak during this time), the C. is taken to the temple. A bla-bla follows. Then, one of the officers perform the preaching of the Mass of the Phoenix while masturbating. He ejaculates upon the cakes upon ther altar and distributes the disgusting thing between the candidates, telling them to eat it. (Of course, I only pretended I was chewing, and threw that piece of cake under the chair I was sat upon. The brazilian king did the very same).

After that, the candidates are separated: women go to a place in the temple; men to another.

Women hear a bla-bla about the ''rite of stella maris'', something about female masturbation.

Men hear ''Nuptiis Secretis...''. Another masturbation and ejaculation and distribution of disgusting melted pieces of cake follows. Finis.

IX° - The same cerimony of Minerval, including the same words and signs etc, but with the three I°-III° officers: S., E., and W. In the end, Saladin says ''The journey never ends'' or something like. Then, Saladin tells the W. to perform the Star Ruby.

After that, Saladin and Emir perform the Star Saphire. S. and E. copulate.

E. collects the moisture of sperm and female fluids from within her vagina and distributes between the candidates.

Finis.

X° - Firstly, the to-be-king ''receives'' the ''highest M-M national degree'', while holding the penis of the initiator with his right hand. Then he's made an ''OTO king'' (hahaha).

Then the king receives Grimorium Sanctissimum as it was the X° instruction and is instructed to perform it as soon as he gets back to his country!!!

PRK: who wrote those rituals?!

MACS: The british king and David Rietti did. The others were copied from YOUR book [How To Make Your Own McOTO] (I saw it with my very eyes).

Cari Fratres et Sorores in Legis Lucis, Amore, Vita et Libertatis:

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

I have been living the Law of Thelema for about twelve years. Within this time, I have been member - and very often - representative of some organizations in my Country (Brasil).

It is my style to give back twice the respect my superiors have twards me. And, most of all, I do not tolerate lies.

As some of you probably know, I was the first representative of the so called Caliphate OTO in Brasil, and - believe me - I had many unpleasent experiences within that organization, what took me to resign my membership and ''status'' in the beginning of 1999 e.v.

In march of the same year, I contacted the so-called OTO Foundation, a group founded in Manchester, UK, which claimed to carry a lineage from the Fraternitas Saturni. That group invited me to take the Xº for Brasil, but I kindly rejected such an invitation, pointing somebody else to fulfill that office.

At the end of October, I and that man took the intermediary and high degrees of the OTO-F, he being made the Xº.

I was somehow upset when I saw that the OTO-F still used the same rituals as the Caliphate. Yet, they devised new rituals for the sub-degrees and the high degrees, all of them very very weak, reflecting their lack of imagination and their necessity to supply their sexual frustration. My impressions on those rituals may follow in oncoming e-mails, at any of yours request.

Back to Brasil, I told that man (who used to call me a friend) that I had to myself that the OTOF was a fake - at least from the historical point of view, after all:

1 - It was founded by somebody who claims to hold the 18º FS, a statement contradicted by the current Grand Master of the Ordo Saturni [Dieter Heikaus] HeikauysHand by at least two past Grand Masters of the FS;

2 - It is based on an allegued agreement between the Swiss King of the OTO [H.J. Metzger] and the first Grand Master of the F.S. [Eugen Grosche]. However, this agreement is 99,99% a fairy tale. Sufice it to remember that the Swiss King of the OTO was expelled from the F.S. by the Grand Master Gregorius in September 1953. In any case, a national king had no authority to do such agreements without the permission of the OHO (at that time, Frater Saturnus [Karl Germer]);

3 - It is currently leaded by two persons that were expelled from the Caliphate OTO when the most advanced of them held only a sub-degree between the Vº and the VIº.

A few days later, based on void allegations, the brazilian Xº of the OTOF tried to expel me. I appealed and had the expulsion revoked. However, as it is not my Will to waste my time, I resigned my membership in that organization in 23.11.99 e.v.

A few days before my resignation, I came to know that the founder of the OTO-F was spreading false rumors about the past Grand Master of the FS, Frater Jananda [Walter Jantschik], nowadays the head of the Ordo Baphometis, an organization that I gladly represent in Rio de Janeiro. I wrote to the OTOF founder (Frater U.D./Scorpio [Ralf Tegtmeier]) and received a bad humored letter as response, what shew his total lack of emotional control. He even threatened me because of my contact with G.M. Jananda, what lead me to write him a legal letter, which I reproduce in the following e-mail.

Well, I think I've already said too much for a letter of introduction. Glad to be here.

Love is the law, love under will.

Dom Marcelo A. C. Santos 33º 90º 95º IXº

Frater Iskuros / Tenebras Luciferrum

Bishop Tau Athanatos.